The most difficult thing I had to learn to achieve my dreams as a Cairns life coach was the essential practice of letting go of control.

And trust me I still don’t have it completely figured out in all aspects of life. I still slip up from time to time because I am human.

But what I do know is this; If we absolutely want to achieve or experience something incredible, then it is vital that we learn to let go.

Setting effective goals is wonderful and visualising regularly is amazingly potent. But if we insist on holding on as we do those practices, we work against our own dreams.

And here’s why.

Most times when we want something desperately or passionately we hold on to it without realising. This creates tension in our body and in turn creates resistance energetically.

Energetic resistance happens because as we create tension it lowers our frequency and vibration.

When we are in this space of low frequency we are not in a place of allowance. This means we will find it difficult to receive what we want.

It doesn’t mean that we won’t achieve what we want, but it does mean it will be damn hard work if we do.

If you feel your achievements don’t come without really hard work, or you have difficulty creating what you want. Or, you would like to achieve more, then these tips from a humble Cairns life coach may help.

Cairns Life Coach Tip #1 – Become aware of your body

First of all we need to realise that we are holding on when we are, because we are mostly unaware of this.

Becoming aware of how your body feels will help you build this awareness.

Our body never ever lies, but our mind does often. When we tune into our body it will let us know exactly what is going on for us emotionally and energetically.

Having this awareness will allow us to make the changes.

As you think about your goals and desires, and even as you go about your day tune into your body. Do you notice any tension anywhere?

For me if I am holding on I feel tension in my heart space, my throat, my shoulders or my solar plexus. And I literally feel like my hands are gripping onto an invisible wall.

This is different for everyone and can be a subtle feeling or a strong feeling. You could be holding this energy anywhere in your body. Just notice where it is for you.

Cairns Life Coach Tip #2 – Notice where your mind is

Often when we want something so much there is a fear of not having it. And because of this we keep focusing on life as it is now and noticing what we don’t have.

This is something we do unconsciously and it’s our ego mind trying to protect us from disappointment or failure. It’s a survival instinct and a good thing for the times we need it.

But this natural trigger can hold us back if we are unaware of it.

When you think of your desires, are you fully focusing on having it and the abundance of it? Or is there a part of you that is focusing on the lack of it?

Again this can be really subtle and might be easier to notice in the emotion.

Do you feel joyful abundance when you think of achieving your goals or do you feel relief?

If you feel relief, then it is possible that part of you is focusing on the lack.

This isn’t a bad thing because you are part the way there. Then it is a matter of moving your focus a little more to enjoying what you want.

Cairns Life Coach Tip #3 – Use your breath to release the feeling

The resistant feeling we have in our body is the result of our mind and body separating. As we create this separation we move out of the space of allowance.

If we think about what we don’t have or we desperately want, we move out of present moment energy.

Present moment is being right here in this millisecond in our body. Even if we think a few minutes ahead we are in the future, separating our mind and body.

You can shift the resistant feeling by bringing your mind back to your body. Consciously using your breath is one of the fastest ways you can do this and you can do it anytime, anywhere.

Conscious breathing involves using your mind and body to breathe, not just the top of your lungs. It is often called belly breathing.

By expanding your abdomen as you breath in, you lower your diaphragm breathing into the base of your lungs. Then as you breath out softening or contracting your abdomen expelling all air from your lungs.

This practice requires the focus of your whole mind, bringing your mind back to your body.

Cairns Life Coach Tip #4 – Learn to be happy with what you have

This maybe sounds a bit paradoxical when you so passionately want something different. I get it because it took me ages to finally feel the effects of this myself.

Remember those lower frequency emotions create resistance. Being happy with where you are and what you have, doesn’t mean that you don’t want change.

With the acceptance of where you are comes a sense of happiness and peace. This raises your energetic frequency and vibration.

As your frequency rises your energy is that of allowance instead of resistance.

Nothing throws better light on this than Abraham Hicks who says;

You can be fully satisfied with where you are, understanding that you’re eternally evolving. When you get into that place of appreciation of where you are and of who you are. And appreciation of what you are, and you accept that you are a never-ending always unfolding Being, then you can stand in that delicate balance of being optimistic about what is to come, without being unhappy about where you stand.

Find a way of eagerly anticipating the future changes, while at the same time you are in love and satisfied with who, what, where and how you be.

Regularly looking for the good in your life will help you feel satisfied and happy. You can do this formally by writing things down daily or you can do this as you go about your day. Personally I do both.

There is always something good when you look for it even when things are at their toughest.

Final thoughts from someone who learned the hard way

The art of letting go to be in the space of allowance is really about learning how to let go of control.

As humans we naturally want to feel in control because it helps us feel safe. But, control truly is an illusion; because things around us are constantly changing. This means the only thing we have total control over is our own self.

From continuously unlearning and relearning, what I know is this;

By being in awareness and managing your mind, emotions and energy you maintain control of your own self (or a better feeling word is that you “manage” yourself). This means you can eventually achieve your dreams with more ease and flow.

Emotions like anger, frustration, resentment, sadness and fear can really get in the way of achieving your dreams. Working with a transformational life coach can help you release these and fast track your achievement. Click here to book your initial complimentary clarity call and see what can be achieved.