Whether it is your need to know everything, get things right first time, or to know with certainty you will get the result you want before you give things a go, you could be suffering with an imperfect perception of perfection.
The amount of time wasted triple checking and over checking emails and documents, waiting for the right time and even resisting asking questions for fear of being seen as not knowing the answers, can really get in the way of living the life you want and doing what you want to do.
I’m not sure when our need for perfection really began and when it reached the fever pitch it seems to be right now. The thing is if we don’t change the way we look at this it can seriously get in the way of us living the life we want.
Somewhere along the way our perception of perfect became twisted. At some point as a society we decided to make this simple word mean something it certainly isn’t. Even Wikipedia uses words like flawlessness and faultless to describe the meaning of perfection. And if it’s on Wikipedia it must be right, right?
Hmm, I disagree!
I’m not saying I know better than Wikipedia, but the truth is it’s in the imperfection that life is perfect.
Wait a minute! Did you just read that right?
You sure did.
I will say it in a different way.
Life is always happening perfectly, it’s just our perception of perfect that is imperfect.
I want to share a very personal story with you to help you see what I mean.
Recently my dear dad passed away. It was a highly emotional time for me and for my family. I was so incredibly blessed and honoured to be with him when he passed. I am so very grateful that I was. Yet I still wanted to re write it in some way. I started to have regret and I began to wish “If only”.
Lucky for me I have some wonderful women friends in my life. And my wise spiritual teacher and long time friend calmly said to me, “Deb, it all happened perfectly and exactly as it was meant to.”
The only problem was, I was just trying to make it perfect for me!
And when I heard my dear friend’s words it gave me great comfort.
So it set me wondering about our need for perfection in many different contexts throughout our lives. And as I relaxed on my recent trip to Bali, I pondered on this more.
Our perception of perfection has a huge effect on the decisions we make and the behaviour patterns we run. This has a profound impact on our results in all contexts and aspects of life.
Somewhere along the way we have become lost. Many of us seem to think a flawless and faultless life is a great life. A life where we make no mistakes, there is no risk of failure and there are no disappointments, challenges or hurts.
Sounds fantastic doesn’t it?
Because, a life like this contains no growth and keeps us stuck. It’s only in the mistakes and things that don’t go that well we can receive great insight enabling us to grow as a human.
A mentor of mine once said to me, “Our purpose in life is to love to learn to live and to grow”. I never fully understood it when she said it many years ago, and now I get it.
To me this means we are here to gain insights, to learn, to understand ourselves and others and to grow so we can expand in a spiritual sense and enjoy life as it unfolds for us.
Making mistakes and not getting things right first time is part of this. And staying open to the insights is essential.
So, next time you are hesitating on taking a step that has the possibility to change your life. Maybe wasting time checking your email for the sixth time before you send it. Or possibly struggling with your latest challenge, I encourage you to remind yourself of this;
Life is unfolding for you perfectly and exactly as it was meant to. Trust in the process, take a chance and stay open. If you don’t get the outcome you want, it’s time to look for the lessons and insights about yourself and others. Insights that will help you grow.